The Green Scene in Pool and Spa News
September 15, 2010

Builder, Designer...Mediator (excerpt)

by Dan Schechner

Scott Cohen wasn't optimistic. He'd just finished reviewing with his clients - a married couple - the upgrades they had requested for their in ground spa. The man of the house was far less enthused than his wife over the project, which came with a $15,000 price tag. "Absolutely not," Cohen recalls his declaration. "We're not spending another dollar on this job!"

But then something unexpected happened. It was a Friday evening, and as the man's wife walked Cohen to the door, she stopped, and in a low voice, made a confident prediction.

"She said not to worry because on Monday she would call me with the OK," says the President of The Green Scene in Northridge, CA.

When I asked her what she meant, she just said it depends on whether he wants a good weekend or a bad weekend," he adds. "And on Monday I got the approval to go ahead with the work." Though it played out like a scene from The Real Housewives of Los Angeles County, Cohen's experience illustrated a common scenario among swimming pool contractors.

Disagreements between spouses have long plagued builders and designers, who frequently find themselves in the middle of of potentially explosive episodes. And it can make for as thorny situation when the ultimate goal is producing satisfied clients. In examining the role of pool contractor as marriage counselor, it's important to identify what issues couples most often clash over, as well as how to successfully mediate those disputes before they have a chance to submarine the project.

Cohen, who actually conducts seminars on the topic, notes that both parties may agree, for example, on the element of fire in their yard. But how that element is employed could become volatile.

Both sides may think their idea is better, and they leave it up to the expert to tell them who's right and who's wrong, which isn't always fair," says Cohen.

Why then, don't couples discuss the options ahead of time, before they sit down with the contractor?

Theories vary - some say spouses just don't make time in their hectic lives to discuss such issues. Others say homeowners believe those decisions are part of the contractor's job - the pool builder has all the answers, and after all, that's what we're paying him or her for.

Still others maintain that homeowners simply aren't trained to research pools like they are cars, for example.

Cohen notes that most salespeople in the pool industry are men. And as such, they tend to seek common ground with other men over installing, say, an outdoor television to watch sports, or a kegerator.

"As salespeople, we have to be careful not to do the typical male thing, which is to quickly bond with the other guy," Cohen says. "You can't appear to take sides. And ultimately you have to realize that most financial decisions are made by the women."

Cohen uses a process called Feel Felt Found. The concept is to first empathize by telling the client you understand how they feel. Then you present a scenario where someone else felt the same way. Finally, explain how the situation turned out well when the previous client followed the same advice you're now giving the homeowner. "It's a negotiation technique tactic that allows you to turn whatever is thrown your way into a positive," Cohen says.

Part of building trust means making sure the customer feels comfortable with the contractor. Cohen uses a technique known as pairing, or matching behaviors, such as the client's language, posture, and breathing patterns.

Much as we tend to behave differently with our work associates than we would, say, close family friends, contractors should be able to modify their own conduct - including nonverbal cues - to suit individual clients, Cohen explains.

"If you pair yourself in similar ways, their mind sees you as a friend," he adds. "Then a lot of the hesitation and discomfort goes away, and they can just open up to you."

The bottom line,industry veterans agree, is that the contractor's role is to create harmony - not just within the backyard, but among the clients themselves.